i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
