My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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