Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Boobs are out for the taking
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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