My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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