i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Life is so much better after having sex.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
