Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
