remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
