yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
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by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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