I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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