worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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