There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
you had me at cake vodka
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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