New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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