i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
