Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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