so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize