She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize