I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
