I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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