Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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