Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
