I wish I could punch you in the face.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
