whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Randomize
