if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"