Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
