look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
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So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
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I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?