If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts