Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
