Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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