thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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