I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
