one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize