I wish I only lived at night.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
