I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
