Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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