If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
