I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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