Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I need a beard to bite.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
