Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
