I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
