My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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