Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
