now i know why i became what i already was.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize