If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
