you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
