I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
