Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
