Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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