That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
