Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
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I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
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So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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