I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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