lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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