My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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