Dual....:-)
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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