I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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