My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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