Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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