I cannot find my penis.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
