Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize