just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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