Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize