They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
