he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
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NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
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I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Who died my cat blue again?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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