i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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