NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
