My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
