why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
