I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
