I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
the condom got lost in my hair
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
